Zoe Kaiser

Hello tumblr:)

For the record, homeless people are really good at making you feel guilty. Like today, I said to these two hobos that i wasn’t going to give them my money - Specifically, all i said was “no” - and one of them scathingly wished me a merry Christmas. First off, Bro, I don’t owe you my money. Secondly, where the hell do both of you get off asking a young woman walking by herself downtown for money. Don’t you think that would kind of scare the shit out of her? Yes. It does.

Okay, maybe not everyone dies, or anyone for that matter, but i’ve got your attention, right? Maybe you’re feeling a little bit peevish that i have deceived you with undeserved sensationalism, but i can assure you that what i have to say will be equally as interesting as everyone dying in Breaking Dawn.

Going to see that movie, i didn’t have high expectations. Who cares if they got a new director after the first movie and everything is no longer a depressing shade of blue? I still find myself grimacing, a face surely to make any little girl have nightmares. First, let me start off by saying i’m not even a fan of the books. So i wasn’t sitting there, gripping the sides of my movie seat (movie seat?) and screaming into the ears of the poor souls around me that they skipped a scene from the book. I couldn’t care less. Actually, that brings me to my first point. They didn’t cut out enough. It seems like they just want to extend this franchise into two more movies out of greed for more money and possibly to redeem themselves. Perhaps if the first three movies didn’t suck they wouldn’t have felt it necessary. Oh, well, maybe if we make five movies everyone will forgive us for the first three embarrassments, they thought.

Let me give you a run down of what happens in part one to save you $9.50: Alice plans Edward and Bella’s wedding, Jacob is still a flirt, Bella and Edward get married, Bella and Edward go on their honeymoon and have lots of sex (no really, Bella is pretty much a sex addict), Bella gets pregnant with a vampire human baby, jacob is mad, everyone is trying to keep Bella from withering away due to the parasite within her womb, Bella gets a C-section because this baby is out of control, and then Bella transforms. The movie ends with Bella opening her eyes, exposing her red vampire irises. Yeah, didn’t see that coming:/

I hope i’m not the only one who sees the lack of things going on in this movie. They dragged out a portion of the story that could have been 40 minutes, at most, into a 2 hour flick.

Lastly, on a note regarding style, this movie was similar to those that you’d find on the Hallmark channel or Lifetime where there is the unnecessary and constant drone of dramatic music in the background, even during dialogue. Really? We don’t need music every time someone starts to speak, especially when the script itself is overly dramatic and cheesy.

So i’ve recently discovered that there is a whole world of coffee drinks i had never tried. I usually go with a plain old 12oz drip coffee or ice coffee. Perhaps I was subconsciously aware of a stigma that is attached to ordering fancier coffee drinks. Nevertheless, I tried a cappuccino from Starbucks and from The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. The latter makes a  better cappuccino. The foam was way thicker and frothier. My only complaint is that both of them were a little bitter, Starbucks more than The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. I’m not sure if this is a normal characteristic of cappuccinos, but it seems like it would be a little better if they added more steamed milk or some sweetener. But i know that that goes against a barista’s ideology of how one is made: espresso, steamed milk, and foam, in 2oz equal quantities. Guess who wants a cappuccino machine for Christmas?

I just type “www.Stumblr.com” into the browser….